Still in the grind

I know it’s been a while since I’ve written anything.  Honestly, it’s hard to stay in the grind.  It means that despite everything going around you and whatever direction you may want to go, you have to fight teeth and nail to strive towards that goal.

For me, my eventual goal is to be a working writer who gets paid to write screenplays- preferably motion pictures.  A lofty goal, for sure, but I think it’s something that I can legitimately accomplish.  However, in order to get to that point, you have to “put in your dues.”  What does that mean for a writer?  Well, I’ve compiled somewhat of a list and here they are in no particular order (sort of).

1. You will not get paid for your work, at least in the beginning in order to get proper credit.

If you’re a good writer and people like your stuff.  They are more inclined to give you money then give you credit so that they can take it and claim it for something that they’ve done.  However, Hollywood is an industry in which your value is only based on what you’ve done before.  Classic example; look at Eddie Murphy.  He’s the BEST stand-up comic in the 80’s and he has a stream of hits such as 48hrs and Beverly Hills Cop.  He then makes The Adventures of Pluto Nash (the biggest flop according to Wikipedia) and he’s relegated to nothing until he lends his voice as the Donkey in the Shrek films.  Has he done anything live since then?  Not unless you count Norbit, which was also produced by Paramount.  Conclusion- you may not get paid, but you’ll get your name out.

2. You will write about something you don’t like.

Now thankfully, up to this point, I have not written anything I didn’t like.  However, the flip-side is that I haven’t gotten paid for something I’ve written…yet.  Unless you write something that your passionate about you and you produce it yourself and go viral on YouTube or have relative film festival success, as a writer, you’ll enter screenplay contests and your name will be on some lists of production companies and they’ll hire you to write for THEM.  Now, it’ll get your name out even more and you’ll eventually get enough freedom to write what you want.  Until then, you’re writing other people’s passion material.  You may want to write space comedies (Space Balls), but you may get stuck writing stoner comedies (Pineapple Express).  Now, that may not be a bad thing, but it’s something you don’t have any interest in…and that’s the best case scenario.  You might have to pay your dues by writing for Direct-to-DVD companies.

Now, those are the 2 biggest lessons I’ve learned in my relatively miniscule knowledge of Hollywood.  Once I get rid of the “aspiring” title and get to “working”, I’ll learn more knowledge until I eventually get to “seasoned” and hopefully “award-winning” (and I don’t mean the Razzies).

The Greatest Drawback to Social Networks

First of all, its been a long time since I’ve written anything onto this blog. Writing has been more frequent of late. Since I started writing screenplays, I have since finished around 3 total. Well, the definition of “finished” is pretty broad. It ranges between finished rough drafts to “moderately” presentable. Anyways, back to my main point.

Social networks such as MySpace and Facebook and to a certain extent; blogs, are great because they open the door of the regular Joe schmo to the rest of the world. Meaning, the person can communicate with someone half way across the world real time without the huge phone bill at the end of the month.

However, I have come across one drawback: the sense of mystery. Let me explain. High School reunions are great because you get to meet up with friends and classmates that you haven’t seen in 10, 20, or even 30 years. You get to find out what they look like, what they do for a living, or if they eventually married their prom date. People were looking forward to these gatherings.

Now, with MySpace and eventually Facebook, all that is useless. Finding people, if they don’t have a name that is so common, are easy to find. In fact, now, it’s like you can have a reunion buffet style. You pick and choose who you want to catch up with, at anytime. You can stay connected to these people and see pictures of their kids as they’re born and as they’re growing up. It takes that sense of mystery away.

Still don’t agree? How about a better example. That girl that you had a crush on back in junior high school but never had the courage to do anything about it? Now, you can just go into Facebook and just search her up, friend her, and see how she’s doing. Before, you always wondered what happened to that person and so that becomes part of your personality. I’ve gone and searched some of my previous crushes and man, I regret doing that. These girls were held in such high regard in my memory because at the time, I thought they were the prettiest girls in the world. Now that I can see what they look like, boy was I wrong. Yes, I’m not the greatest looking guy nor have I retained my looks from high school, but it totally “shattered the glass,” sort of speak.

I wish I had never searched these girls in the first place. You always wondered what these people looked like, but deep down inside, you didn’t really want to find out.

Before, when you thought about your old crush, all you saw was your memory of that person; young, hot, and popular. Now, all you see is married, overweight, and 2 kids.

Thanks social networks for killing off the great white buffalo.

Back for the first time

Been a while since I’ve entered anything in a while, nevertheless, I have been writing and been somewhat productive. Lately been trying to sleep early in order to return to a normal sleeping schedule. It’s 3:34am right now. FAIL. I will now attempt to go to sleep. Go away insomnia. You are not welcome here…

– glen kim
March 18, 2010

Why all the hate..?

alright, so, i’ve been thinking alot lately…  something that’s been on my mind for the longest time and i couldnt figure it out.. until recently.

there are this certain “group” of people that for some reason received all this hate for apparant no reason.  i sided with these people and i questioned why they received all this un-warranted hate..  i stuck up for them and sometimes even fought for them with my pride on the line..  then, recently, i had an epiphany..  i now understand why all this hate was delivered and even brought upon themselves.  i won’t go into detail on who “these” people are for fear of them finding out..  though, i should probably call them out so that they know, but i wont..  it’s just very frustrating..  i guess thats what the Muslims, Islamic, Buddhists, and other religions out there how they’re going to feel after they die..  just alot of blood, sweat, and tears for what…nothing.  oh well.

unto other news.. today was the official start of OCSG.. (orange county small groups).  what a transition into my next topic..  whatever.  but, yeah.. quite a few people were there.. about 7 or 8 off the top of my head..  good start.. it was mostly a meeting to figure out how they’re going to go.. so, the first meeting was quite important so that they can cater what they’re going to do to the needs of the people there..  expecting alot of great things and it’s going to be good..  the people that came were both surpising yet given(?) at the same time..  not sure how to explain it.. i expected those people to come, but were surprised that they did come..

tomorrow is LASG.. (los angeles small group)  not going there anymore.  no point.  well, there is a reason for me to go, but, i wont..  since i will now be dedicated to OCSG, no reason for me to do double-duty and go to the la version.. besides, the OC is better than LA.. haha..

been listening to a song that’s been out for a while.. “No Love No More” by Park Jin Young. it’s a great song.. written by Park Jin Young while he was going through his divorce.. basically, after he was jacked after loving someone, he’s not going to love anymore and just focus on living and enjoying life.  i am now going to take upon that method of thinking..  i haven’t loved anyone (i don’t think so) and the process sucks..  sure, the process is supposed to be all worth it when you’re done.. but, FUCK it..  i’m over it..  im just going to focus on what i have to do and if it comes; it comes..  it’s not worth my time anymore.  i now understand the life that George Clooney lives..  no reason to settle down when you’re having fun..  i mean, i’d rather play basketball with some random people then spending time with some girl..

girls are nothing but a roadblock to whatever is important.. i sincerely believe that now.  i mean, even losing weight-wise.. i lost the most weight when i was getting ready for an audition then for any girl in my life..  and since i’ve got some business to take care of, i’d rather focus on that..  sucks for my parents who want me to get married..  oh well.  im just glad that some thing’s never planned out..  God really knows me better than myself..  if it had worked out; i would be regretting it so much right now.. of course, looking back now; it makes so much more sense.. but, man..  i just have to thank God..

alright, i think that’s pretty much it for right now.. trying to sleep early has it’s reprocussions(?)..  whatever.
– jikae
Feb. 18, 2010 12:56am

Super Sunday indeed

So, let me start out by reiterating my recent discovery about me sleeping exactly 8 hours. Knowing this, i slept at 5am yesterday/today. Guess what time I woke up. That’s right, at 12:50pm. Just in time to do NOTHING for 1pm service. Of course since there is absolutly no way I could make it in time, I take my time; sort of. I wash up and head to service. Of course I get there at 1:30 because I bypass certain freeways because of their tendencies to have traffic even though google traffic says there aren’t any. Either case, I dileberatley disobey my own discovery and oversleep this morning.

Anyway, I go to service and afterwards, we watch the Super Bowl. I’m rooting for the Colts because of Peyton Manning but have a strange feeling that if the Saints can get their offence going, they might make it interesting. First quarter, Colts dominate without really putting up many points. Second quarter, same thing except the teams switch. Peyton Manning plays exactly one drive; 3 downs because Garcon can’t catch a very catchable ball that wouldve been a sure-fire first down and possibly another score. Saints get the ball and suddently they either make drastic improvements on offence or suddenly the Colts forgot how to play defense (they forgot).

Fast forward to 2:15 left in the first half. Colts up 10-3, Saints ball first and goal at the Colts 2 yard line. Colts stop them all three times and the Saints elect to go for it. Colts stop them at the one, turnover. Colts recover the ball at their own 1 or 2 with 2 minutes left in the half with all their time outs left. Seen this situation before. Peyton Manning is one of the bests with 2 minutes on the clock. What happens? THEY RUN THE BALL THREE TIMES IN A ROW!!!! WTF!!! What happens? They don’t get the first down and give the ball back with 40 seconds left. Saints get the ball back and easily get in field goal range and get their 3 points that they shouldve gotten anyways. That was HUGE!!! Never mind the onside kick to start the second half. Those three drives right there changed the landscape of the entire game. Saints got momentum going into halftime. Say the Colts march down instead of running it three times and score AT LEAST a field goal. They’re up 13-3 after stopping the Saints at the goal line 4 times and they think about the missed opportunity. Instead, it’s 10-6 and The Who officially alienate the entire country from ever staying for the halftime show. Good stuff.

Anyways, after the game, me and a couple of buddies have a conversation that ranges upon a variety of topics but always comes down to survival in a city after zombies/earthquake/terrorist attack/nuclear winter. We discuss about that all the time because besides the zombies, living in Los Angeles, they are all highly probable.

Afterwards, we went to watch From Paris with Love. Great film. John Travolta should play a crazy/badass in all his movies from now on. He’s got that “joker” type of feel to him. The movie theater that we went to, not alot of workers or they don’t care. Last showing on a Sunday night, usually free. Also nachos cost 4.50 but if you want to buy a second; 1.50. ALSO, ran into Paul Walker. He probably knows about the Sunday night deal. Either way, he is tall as he looks and sounds EXACTLY the way he does in his movies.

With that, this was indeed a Super Sunday.

-jikae
Feb 7, 2010. 1:41am

Forgot to add…

Yesterday (Friday) one of my high school English teacher friends looked read one of my finished first drafts of a screenplay and broke it down for me. There were about 15-20 areas that needed improvements. Not too bad for a first draft from a rookie. He did say that it wasn’t bad but neither did he say it was good. So, I’ll take it that it was mediocre. Alot of the points that he made were valid and I’ll be looking to change those portions within the upcoming week then hopefully submit them to contests.

It was a good thing that I gave the script to him to check out cause I thought it was finished. There were some areas that I thought needed some tweeking but overall I thought it was done. Now, I got an outside perspective and I’ll be able to make it into something that has greater potential.

With that, I need to get some rest because I need to get up in 6 hours.

-jikae
Feb 7, 2010. 2:45am

Solitary Confinement

It started raining today, pretty hard is some areas. However, where I am has been drizzling just a little bit. The title of this blog might sound a little crazy or even a little strange, but that’s kind of what I feel like I’m in. Let me elaborate.

I live at home with my parents, but they realize my age and really don’t nag or hold me back. In fact, during high school I used to routinely sleep over at friends houses. So, from the start, they’ve been pretty laxed on the rules. In fact, right before I left, my mom told me: “if you get drunk or anything, just sleep at a friends house or something.”. I swear, those were pretty much her exact rules. So that tells you a little something.

No, the reason for my title is regarding my friends. Outside of my close circle of friends, I feel I’m in solitary confinement. Meaning, I can’t really relate with anybody else. Even with people at church. Sure; we share the same religious beliefs or whatnot, but I don’t really share interests with them. Sadly, nor do I want to dig deeper to find out. That’s just probably my social ackwardness writing or something. When I worked at modern, it was different. I could relate to everyone easier. I had pretty meaningful surface relationships with the other co-workers even if the only thing we had in common was working for the same company. I don’t know. Perhaps, it’s just us Christians failing at the very thing that were supposed to do; relationships?

For me anyways, relationships with other Christians is weird and seems a little strange and ackward. Which, in reality really makes no sense. Even my close friends, I secretly play this game with myself. “If we didn’t meet in the context of church, would we still be close friends?”. Sadly, the answer to most would probably be no. Of course, over the years, that’s changed and now were all really close with one another. But I play that game with the other members and I arrive at the same answer. It is quite sad, really.

But, is it me or is it the others? Yes, in any situation, I would have to carry at least half of the blame, but I’m curious. Why is it that way? I don’t think I’ll find the answers now, so I’ll move on.

For girls that claim to be supreme communicators; they sure don’t communicate. Let me explain. When a girl likes you, depending on the girl; it’s like ocean fishing. You set out your reel and you wait for the fish to bite. However, because of the currents, you can’t really tell with some fish if they’re nibbling on your bait or not. Some, you know; they’ll grab your bait, swallow the hook, and try to take you out to sea. Some, they’ll nibble s-l-o-w-l-y at your bait until it’s all gone and they expect you to know that they want you to catch them. Makes no sense. Granted, girls are excellent communicators in that they use every form of communication besides just words. They’ll spend time with you or whatnot. But then again, how are we (guys) supposed to know whether they’re just being friendly or interested? If we assume interested and pursue, the girls are the ones that start to make it all ackward, then all he’ll breaks lose. Either case, we’re screwed. I suppose that explains why I’ve never caught a fish…in the ocean.

In conclusion, girls are not good communicators at all, they’re only good at communicating amongst each other so, get some kind of universal system going on.

-jikae
Feb 6 2010. 12:49am.

Another day, More progress

So, it was another day and i would like to think that more progress was made. I did end up going to prayer meeting, but more on that later. I woke up around 130pm because I slept around 5ish yesterday. Amazingly 8hrs of sleep. I’ve come to the conclusion that unless I subconsciously force myself to wake up at a certain time, if I lie down, I will sleep exactly 8 hours. It’s amazing, really. Based upon certain conditions; whether I worked out strenuously or anything else that uses alot of extra energy will modify the sleep time a little bit, but other than that; 8 hours. I shouldve known this by now, but it’s something I’ve learned about myself in the past couple of years.

Anyways, I woke up at 130, got ready to leave and ended up leaving around 430 because I ate…twice. I drank a “breakfast” smoothie and i’m guessing my dad ate 짬봉 earlier or something, but he left half so I killed that directly after drinking the smoothie. So, my breakfast smoothie is as follows: 5 strawberries, 1 banana, 1 glass of soy milk, 2 ice cubes, 1 spoon of peanut butter, and because I had some, a small handul of blueberries. Apparantly that didn’t immediatley fill me up so I finished off the 짬봉; which was tasty by the way.

So I left the house to head to Irenes place for small group, which starts at 730. I left early for two reasons. 1, to avoid LA traffic which is bad on Wednesdays on and 2, to go to my Thursday writing spot in ktown. I arrived at my writing spot at exactly 5 and I take out my laptop to start writing and I immediately realize that I forgot my charger at home. I have 1:15 of battery life. So, I wrote as much as I could in that time frame which came out to about 10 pages(!). A little disappointed to say the least, but I did get some writing done. I kind of like where the story is headed but there will definitely need to be rewrites when I’m done. We’ll see.

I leave my writing enclave and head over to Irenes place at 7 and find out there’s no prayer meeting today AND pastor Sam is not coming today; legit reason. Instead, we’re having a hang out day. We end up playing Cranium. Then people that showed up were Irene, Andy, Kathy, Ju-An, Paul, and I. Teams were Kathy/Ju-An, Andy/Paul, and me/Irene. Found out that I do not think like a woman when it comes to underwear(?) and I am good at the charades portion. Oh! And I also know random trivia facts; but, I already knew that. Needless to say, game was close but Andy/Paul won by one card. Fun time was had by all and afterwards we just chilled and got yo know each other.

Then, I came home and here we are. I’m currently downloading SNSD videos and contemplating buying the new cd…wait a minute. Yes, I do still have my manhood. Perhaps I should forgo on purchasing the cd; afterall, I’m turning 28 this year. I’m not a high school girl. However, it is a GIRL group, at least I’m not thinking about buying a 2PM album or something…. I’m trying to justify myself, what is going on?? I don’t want to illegaly download it, gotta support the group. Whatever, I don’t even have the funds to do it right now anyways, I’ll let future jikae take care of it.

Not much else is coming to my mind besides the fact that I want to buy a loft in downtown and get the Can-Am Spyder; which I obviously don’t have the disposable income to purchase. Perhaps, that I’d why I’m not rich, God wants me to become more reponsible with my finances first. (valuable lesson always taught by Hyung Lee). Exact expression being “steward of your finances”.

Either case, both currently luxuries that I DON’T need, but WANT. Oh well. It looks like I’m done for today. Gotta get some rest and hopefully get some more writing done tomorrow. Goal will be to finish principal writing by end of next week. We’ll see how that goes, but gotta set goals, right?

-jikae
February 5, 2010. 1242am

Short but sweet

So, after not doing much today (not writing), I met up with Jin and Daniel to film a little something for a small group starting in the oc. It required me to wear a suit with a white dress shirt. Suprisingly, though the suit was a little snug, it felt pretty good. However, after watching back the footage, more weight must be lost, especially around the facial area. Sadness ensued. Overall, the filming went pretty well though it was poorly thought out, in my opinion. Seemed to be a rush job. Looking forward to the end product nevertheless.

Went to eat at subways after. Found out that they actually close at 1am. Jin and I always went to the innout next door because we assumed it was the only thing open. All this tine we couldve been eating healthier. Sadness.

After it was all done, we watched some SNSD videos that I had previously downloaded. They are great. A collection of 9 beautiful girls that all have different styles to appeal to a broad audience. Pure genius. My wish would be to date one of them; anyone of them. I’ve come to a conclusion that you really can’t lose with any of them. They are all solid choices in their own right. Again, another one of my dreaming high and setting unrealistic high goals. Oh well

Not much else to write about besides the fact that I’ll be more productive; writing-wise tomorrow. Also, tomorrow is prayer group in Hollywood. Thinking whether I should go or not. One of the last before I switch over to the oc group. I should go. We’ll see.

-jikae
Feb 4, 2010. 5:46am

Part II

Alright, so here I go, entry number 2. Today, I went to my friend Johns house and we were thinking of ideas for a comic book that he was creating for his class. Background info; he’s a high school art teacher and he is quite creative. And since art is a required class at his school to graduate, he tries to make it as fun as possible. So, for one of the projects, they’re going to create a comic book using social issues. The last class did a comic using pirates, as in pirates of the carribean pirates to illustrate on the present day Somali pirates. We watched Zombieland and the Battlestar Galactica tv movie to garner ideas, not necessarily using a zombie or science fiction theme. Hopefully, it’ll be a fun subject that in the end, the kids get excited to do it.

Well, the reason I bring it up is because John knows that I want to become a writer and using this project, I can hone my skills as a creative writer and use it as part of my resume. Perhaps. More info as the project gets underway. Currently, it’s in development for a possible April/May release. We’ll see.

I didn’t get any personal script writing done. In fact, I haven’t written since last Friday. This usually happens, I’d go for days, sometimes weeks on end without even touching my script; though I do tend to map it out in my head or constantly think about it. So, that’s another reason I started this blog. To get myself to be continually writing so that it comes natural. Though this isn’t necessarily creative writing, it is writing nevertheless.

So, a certain friend; no, aquaintance from church posted something interesting on Facebook today. Without going into detail on who it was or what happened, (mainly because I can only go on what was written on the status update) it got me thinking. When you send a personal message to the opposite sex when the two of you aren’t that close, is that considered “creepy”? Granted, I do have to include that the message was pretty “pointless, like a ‘hey, how are you”. Just thinking about it, it does come off as a little strange, maybe even weird, but creepy? I guess to me, it would depend on who wrote it. There are some people (ugly-unattractive people) that no matter what they do, it comes off as creepy. If an unattractive guy did said “hey, how you doing?” to a random female, chances are, the girl is probably going to knee him in the balls and call the cops or something. If Brad Pitt or someone of his stature did the same thing, she’ll probably swoon and scream in delight. Why the double standard? Granted, it’s the same for us guys. If an unattractive female started rubbing her hands over me, it’ll be a little uncomfortable, whereas a sports illustrated model did the same; Jizz in my pants. Or something like that. (jk). But seriously, why are we like that. Are we really that shallow as humans that attractiveness gets you that much farther. Adding upon that arguement, while I was at john’s house, we were watching tv when Forrest Whitaker(sp?) came on. He’s the black actor with the funky eye. How is he able to continue to find work in an industry dominated by looks? Even Danny Trejo, the Hispanic actor in alot of movies based in Mexico/Los Angeles; though he looks all crazy, is still a releatively good looking fella. Oh well.

Nothing makes sense anymore.

-jikae
Feb 2, 2010. 12:20am